Infidelity.. Should you be able to sue the person who had an affair with your significant other?

If a husband has an affair with another woman, should the wife be able to sue the other woman for emotional damages? What if the couple isn’t married….. should the girlfriend of a cheating boyfriend be able to sue the other woman for the adultery? Or vice versa - should a man be able to bring a lawsuit against an affair-partner? Should any injured partner in a relationship be able to sue the pants off someone who snuggled up to their honey? (Well, technically, their pants were already off, but anyhow…..) Now, my question here is limited specifically to the situation in which the couple appears to be happy - he tells his girlfriend how much he loves her, they have all kind of fun with their friends, everything appears to be great…… but he’s secretly having an affair, intentionally lying to his girlfriend…. and the other woman agrees to carry on the affair under wraps.

Put it this way, the betrayed party has many choices for dealing with their partner when an infidelity is discovered - divorce, break up, stay together, throw things at him…. you know. The point is, there is some level of accountability for the betrayer - he loses his wife or girlfriend, may have to pay spousal support in divorce, will likely bear the wrath of family and friends, etc. Even if a he begs her for forgiveness and gets lucky enough to get a second chance, he’ll have to go through the arduous process of earning back her trust, which usually includes a loss of certain freedoms previously enjoyed, etc. What about the affair-partner? There is that age-old argument…. “Well, it's not HER fault…. the husband is the one who chose to break his marriage vows…. the affair-partner didn’t make any vows to the wife, why should SHE be held responsible.” Well, why shouldn’t she bear some responsibility? She’s equally at fault! SO WHAT if she didn’t make any commitments to the wife or girlfriend. Does that make it right for her to go after someone else’s husband or boyfriend? Does that make it right that she should participate in the lie, the deceit, the fraud? Does that make it OK to intentionally harm and cause emotional injury to the innocent wife or girlfriend? Even if the doggish man pursued her…. she still knowingly entered into the affair.

Here’s the thing - we’ve decided as a society that certain behaviors are not OK. As a result, we’ve decided that there are certain standards by which people are obligated to act. We expect people to act according to “that degree of care that an ordinarily prudent person can be reasonably expected to exercise under similar circumstance.” If someone acts “unreasonably” in those situations, then they can be sued for the harm caused to a third person as a result. For instance:

If you are injured by a driver who failed to exercise reasonable care when driving on the freeway, you can sue them because all drivers have a duty to act reasonably to prevent harm to other drivers. Doctors are supposed to perform their duties as any other reasonable doctor would in a similar situation, or else face liability for medical malpractice. Store owners must put up a sign when a floor is wet, because society considers that to be the reasonable way to act to prevent someone from slipping and falling. Homeowners must warn guests in their home of any sort of danger that may be posed by an ongoing remodeling job of the kitchen. If someone punches you, you can sue them for injuries for intentionally hurting you! You can even sue someone for intentionally harming you emotionally and psychologically. If someone tells a bunch of lies about you, you can sue them for defamation and damaging your reputation. You can sue the manufacture of a toy for failing to adhere to certain standards to make the toy safe to play with. You can even sue someone for interfering with a potential business relationship - for convincing someone to breach a contract with someone else. ….. but you can’t sue an affair-partner for interfering with the most important relationship of your life? Or for helping them to break their commitments or vows to their wife/girlfriend or husband/boyfriend? Isn’t it reasonable to expect that other people won’t have a secret affair with your spouse?

Now, alright, I know I’m simply discussing general legal principles here and applying them to the circumstance of the “other woman” or “other man.” But…. it just seems right to me that people should be held accountable for the harm they cause to others - especially harm to the things most of us consider to be the most valuable, fundamental relationships in our lives. So sound off people…. What do you think? Should we hold those good-for-nothing, deceitful, behind-the-back, home wrecking, boyfriend-stealing, girlfriend-wielding, petty, panti-less, pathetic people responsible?? Or should they get off Scot-free? All we’d be doing is holding them accountable, along with the cheater, for failing to act the way we expect anybody else to act, the way we expect any ordinary person, any reasonable person, to act. And, hey, if the affair-partner were required to pay damages to the innocent spouse for the injuries she caused, then perhaps there would be a deterrent effect and less cheating would result all around. Just a thought….

Courtesy of

Let me know what you think! Looking forward to your comments …. Just scrawl down and have YOUR say!

Cheaters Detective Agency

The Cheaters Detective Agency has officially shut down. Not a minute to soon! Their websites homepage post a letter from their President who blames everyone under the sun for the demise of the company except for himself.

The Private Investigators on the Cheaters Television show have embarrassed this industry long enough. It is our hope that time or a good role model in the Investigations biz will overshadow the dark Jerry Springer like reputation they have shed on us.

Orange County Private Investigator

Los Angeles area Private Investigators at Wilshire Investigations are happy to announce the referral of services of Orange County Investigations to Orange County Private Investigators at Newport P.I..

Wilshire Investigations still covers all of Southern California however there ability to refer Surveillance and other Investigations to Orange County's most trusted Private Investigators at Newport P.I. have helped clients to receive the best of both worlds. For further information or services in Orange County contact Newport P.I. via there website at Contact Newport Beach Private Investigations.

Curbside Investigator Podcast

Congratulations to our colleague from Sunset West Investigations, Scott Stys.  On his 50 plus episodes of "Curbside Investigator Podcast".  It’s a great and informative podcast for all field Investigators. Directors, and Investigative Clients alike.


More information can be found at


Keep up the good work Scott!


Case Management System coming soon!

Our surveillance and Investigations Case Management system is now in its final testing and will be available to our clients by the end of the week. This system is clearly better than anything else out there being used by Private Investigators and Detective Agencies. Clients will be able to access the system through our website or directly from an email link.

  • Clients will be able to:
  • View Surveillance Video and Photographs online securely.
  • Download Video and Photographs.
  • View and download reports.
  • View evidence.
  • View, download, and print real time invoices.
  • Request further investigations and reopen previously requested Investigations.
  • And have a complete picture of the ongoing Investigation and have a better understanding of the Evidence including what the Investigators see.

Investigations Overseas

Question: Do you guys conduct Investigations Overseas? I need to locate my son in China. I would prefer to retain a trusted Los Angeles based Investigator rather than a Chinese firm to insure that I am getting what I pay for and be able to trust what I am told.

Answer: We can certainly help you either by referring you to a trusted agency in China that we have worked with before or assigning one of our Chinese speaking Investigators to fly over. We have done this many times before most notably during copyright and trademark infringement cases where the fake merchandise originates from mainland China.

Big Brothers Big Brother!

The surveillance staff in Los Angeles last night was eagerly awaiting the season premiere of Big Brother 8 on ABC. We only had two surveillance assignments ongoing and they were pretty minor. We had a recently released from Prison, alcoholic, mother of two who wanted custody of her children back but she hadn't left the house in three days (yes she was alive). So the Investigator on that assignment as well as myself and the supervisors in the command center viewing the streaming video back to the office did not expect much action. The other was a stake out of a 27 year old professional disability Claimant (one who lives off of money from injury lawsuits) who needed to be served with a subpoena and the client was hoping he would visit his family's house for the Holiday weekend because he had been overseas and unable to be served previously. So not much exciting there either.

I thought it was kind of humorous that us who monitor people with surveillance were also watching (and transmitting audio to the Investigators in the field) Big Brother, and I must say last year was my first year watching and I enjoyed. The rest of the staff have been lifelong fans and we all agreed that this year looks really good with the added drama of enemies being dropped into the fold. I can't wait to see what happens next! ha

A week to reflect.

Happy 4th to everyone. Its not as I need an excuse to think about our heroes in war zones, past and present. However I do enjoy seeing their pride and professionalism as they stand tall for the "Star spangled banner". Regardless if they are in their dress unies or bloody camo. Their love for country is evident.

 Thanks guys for your service!

Small Claims Process Server in Los Angeles

Question: Can you guys find a guy that owes me some money and serve him with a Small Claims suit or do you guys only take on large cases? I have the paperwork ready to go and the Sherriff tried his only known address and they said he moved.

Answer: We can certainly perform a Locate on this guy and find his whereabouts and serve him with the Suit. We can also video tape this being done to provide undeniable proof of service should he not show in court. More information about this can be found at;

Los Angeles Family Law

Question: Can you conduct surveillance of my wife to determine what she is doing after dropping the kids off at school?  She seems to disappear and is unreachable. When I ask her about it she just gives a roundabout answer.  I am worried that she might be seeing her ex husband who is a drug addict.  If this is true I want to take steps to protect my children.


Answer:  We conduct Family Law Investigations almost every week. Our Investigators have become very familiar with the special needs of case like yours. We have developed a solid plan for surveillance in these matters all the way to putting you in touch with support groups if necessary. Please visit this link to learn more and contact us with further questions. It is best not to discuss specifics on how we can help. We work with Los Angeles, Beverly Hills, and Culver City's best Attorneys on these matters. We can even recommend someone in your area if you are not already represented.   


We now have a Lens at Squidoo. Check it out: 


Protective Surveillance

Question: Are you guys able to conduct surveillance of someone that we just terminated for inappropriate and potentially violent behavior, so that he doesn’t come back and seek retaliation?


Answer: For Private Investigators in Los Angeles this can be a challenging assignment. However Wilshire Investigations has a great deal of experience in these matters. A majority of our Investigators including management have Protective and Physical Security experience along with being career Investigators. It is best to involve an Investigative company early in the process of preparing for the termination. Your legal, human resources, current security, and management should all be involved before terminating someone who you feel may react in an unstable manner.


For our part we will make sure that there is someone to observe the employee depart the work place and conduct a very loose surveillance not to intimidate or harass the employee. We will watch his activities and his behavior for at least 48 hours before consulting with all of the above entities and determining the necessity of continuing surveillance depending on his reaction to the termination and subsequent activities.  Should the employee conduct himself in manner that indicates a potential threat or problem for the Employer and other employees Law Enforcement should be notified and the Private Investigator should help them take all appropriate steps.


This is a much larger task that would take a two to three hour meeting to discuss. To learn more please contact us anytime through

GPS Tracking

Question: I noticed that you mentioned GPS Tracking on your website. Can I track my wife and kids to know where they are at all times? How much does something like this cost?

Answer: You can certainly utilize GPS Tracking technology to track people and vehicles. In California you are not allowed to track someone without their knowledge, with the exception that if you own the vehicle they are driving (wife or kids) you are allowed to track your assets (vehicles). So you can place a device on or upon the vehicle to know where it is however if your wife or kids leave the car the tracker stays with the car. You can also track people by their cell phones but again you can't do it without their knowledge. If you give your kids a cell phone just tell them in passing that you can find them anytime through GPS but I would drop it allowing them to get comfortable and not leave the phone behind when they are up to no good.

Real time tracking devices (ones you can use the internet to view the current location of) range in price from $99 to several thousands. We have tested dozens of devices and have found several good ones and many pieces of junk. The one we really like and hasn’t given us any problems is the size of a cell phone, can be hidden anywhere in a car, has a long range battery and great advanced tracking features. We like this one so much we are going to offer it for sale soon (we usually just rent them in conjunction with Surveillance), for $345. This is a great price compared to most Los Angeles Private Investigators who are using a unit that cost about $900 and about $50 a month in monitoring cost.

Question about Retail Theft?

Question: Hello, we own a small high end retail store in Newport Beach. We have a trusted manager however she cannot be at the store all of the time, I suspect that the employees who work in the evenings are not being honest about the sales. Our inventory is constantly changing and difficult to know what is missing or what may have been sold but not accounted for until we do an Inventory check every quarter. Do you guys have any experience with this?

Answer: Thank you for contacting us, we can certainly help. We currently manage the Loss Prevention for many small boutiques in the area as well as some large chains. The immediate problem of the theft could be detected with some undercover work, the installation of covert video cameras, and the use of other proprietary Investigative techniques. We can help you prepare a case for dismissal of the employee offenders within guidelines of California labor law and even collect evidence for Criminal Prosecution should you chose to explore that option.

We can then help you with the bigger picture of ongoing loss prevention policies and procedures to reduce theft in the future. We can develop a complete system that you can run with or let us manage for you, almost certainly saving the cost of our services with the reduction of missing money and merchandise.